The story behind the Attitude
10:48:00
I was travelling from Mangalore to Mumbai by the 8 o’clock train.
Once we boarded and settled into our seats, I noticed four young boys sitting across us in same compartment.
They were sharing, eating chakli, laughing, and talking loudly among themselves. From their conversation, I gathered that they worked for an event company and were returning home after a long assignment.
Three of them were relaxed, joking, and tired in a normal way.
But one boy stood out.
There was something sharp, almost restless, in the way he spoke. His tone was loud, his language rough, and his words carried an edge:
“I will teach him… why should I do that work? That’s not my job…”
It wasn’t confidence.
It wasn’t strength.
It was attitude — the defensive kind.
As I listened, it became clear that this wasn’t the voice of a powerful person.
It was the voice of someone who had felt powerless for too long.
It was: the attitude of rebellion without direction,
frustration disguised as importance,
a wounded inner child pretending to be in control.
Many people think attitude is style — how you walk, talk, or show off.
But real attitude is the energy behind your words.
And this boy’s energy held a story of its own.
Maybe he had been ordered around too much in life.
Maybe he grew up being told to “adjust,” “compromise,” or “obey.”
Maybe he never felt genuinely respected, so he created a false authority to protect himself.
Whatever the reason, what came out was a mix of irritation and bravado —
an ego trying to feel big while the heart felt small.
As the train moved forward, I kept observing quietly.
The other three boys didn’t react to him much; they were used to this behaviour.
This told me something deeper:
this wasn’t occasional frustration — this was his default attitude.
A protective shield.
A learnt survival pattern.
We often meet such people in life — loud on the outside, hurting on the inside.
And sometimes, we ourselves carry this attitude without realising:
when we feel taken for granted,
when we feel unheard,
when our efforts go unnoticed.
That boy reminded me of a simple truth:
Attitude is not what a person shows; it is what they hide.
It reveals the wound more than the warrior.
And in that moment, sitting in a moving train, I realised once again that the world is full of people carrying unspoken stories.
Some cover it with silence.
Some cover it with strength.
And some — like this young boy — cover it with attitude.
This episode made me write this blog, we all are quick in judging a person good or bad, we give meanings to all what we see and hear.
and we all judge, judge all the time, often without realising it.
The mind is trained to analyse every situation, every gesture, every tone.
And whatever we do not understand, we quickly give a meaning to — based on our past, our fears, our conditioning, and our personal reference points.
Judgment is automatic.
Analysis is habitual.
Meaning is personal.
Two people can see the same behaviour and form two completely different conclusions.
Because we don’t see people as they are — we see them through the lens of who we are.
Our judgments reveal more about our inner world than about the person we judge.
Our meanings reflect our own emotional wounds, expectations, and experiences.
When we understand this, we soften.
We stop reacting.
We start observing.
We shift from judging the person to understanding the story behind the behaviour.
Here are some 3 options one can be looking at same situation
OPTION 1:
As the train rolled on through the night, I realised that every attitude has a root, and every behaviour has a wound behind it. We all judge people. We all have our own reference points — what we notice, what we assume, and what meaning we attach to someone’s behaviour. But those meanings are just perspectives, not the whole truth.
That boy’s attitude reminded me to look beyond the surface.
People don’t behave from who they are; they behave from what they have lived.
OPTION 2:
That moment taught me a simple lesson: a person’s attitude is not their personality — it is their protection. And yet, we all judge people based on small moments. We forget that our judgments come from our own stories, our own experiences, our own reference points. What we see in others is often filtered through the lens of our own conditioning.
These three options of understanding are just three perspectives.
There are many more layers beneath any person’s behaviour.
The more compassion we carry, the more clarity we gain.
OPTION 3:
Watching that boy speak, I silently blessed him. As humans, we all judge — sometimes instantly, sometimes unconsciously. We all have our own reference points and inner maps that tell us what is right, wrong, acceptable, or rude. But these are just perspectives, shaped by our own life stories.
His rough attitude reminded me that every person carries hidden layers.
Every sharp word hides a softer truth.
And when we learn to see the story instead of the surface, our heart expands into compassion.
Here are three options for a beautiful closing — you can choose one or mix them:
OPTION 1: Reflective Closing
As the train rolled on through the night, I realised that every attitude has a root, and every behaviour has a wound behind it. Some people seek respect through softness, some through silence, and some through noise. But deep within, all of us want the same thing — to feel seen, valued, and understood.
That boy’s attitude reminded me to look beyond the surface.
People don’t behave from who they are; they behave from what they have lived.
OPTION 2: Lesson-Based Closing
That moment taught me a simple lesson:
A person’s attitude is not their personality — it is their protection.
When someone speaks harshly, it is rarely about you.
It is about the battles they fight within and the boundaries they were never taught to voice calmly.
The more compassion we carry, the more clarity we gain.
The more understanding we hold, the less we judge.
OPTION 3: Soulful, Healing Closing
Watching that boy speak, I silently blessed him.
May he find environments that value him.
May he learn to express without anger.
May he feel the respect he is chasing.
In truth, all of us are healing something, somewhere.
Every rough edge hides a tender story.
And when we learn to see the story instead of the surface, our own heart softens and expands.
Everything can be taken away from a person except one thing — their attitude.
Attitude is the inner lens through which we see life. It is the invisible energy that shapes our choices, colours our relationships, and determines how we respond to challenges. Two people can go through the same situation, but the one with a conscious attitude rises, while the one with a reactive attitude feels defeated.
What is Attitude?
Attitude is:
The energy you carry into every situation.
The meaning you assign to your experiences.
The emotional posture you hold toward yourself, life, and others.
A blend of beliefs, thoughts, feelings, and habits that shape how you show up.
A reflection of your inner child, conditioning, self-worth, and healed/unhealed wounds.
Attitude is not what happens outside; it is who you choose to be inside.
What Allows a Person to Have a Certain Attitude?
A person’s attitude is formed through multiple layers:
1. Childhood Conditioning
The messages you received — “Be quiet,” “Don’t make mistakes,” “Be strong,” “Make everyone happy” — all become attitudes.
2. Emotional Experiences
Trauma, love, validation, rejection, success, failure — everything shapes your inner stance.
3. Self-Image
People with strong self-worth naturally hold confident, respectful attitudes.
People with wounded self-worth often slip into defensive, reactive, or people-pleasing attitudes.
4. Belief Systems
If someone believes “Life supports me,” they carry a hopeful attitude.
If they believe “Life is unfair,” their attitude becomes tight and negative.
5. Spiritual Awareness
The more conscious, grounded, and connected a person is, the more empowered their attitude becomes.
6. Past Karma & Patterns
Some attitudes are karmic — returning until healed.
For example: helplessness, defiance, rebellion, pride, or victimhood.
7. Daily Habits & Environment
Attitude is strengthened or weakened by the people you live with, the content you consume, and the habits you repeat.
Types of Attitudes (List) — with Pros & Cons
Here is a simple, relatable list you can use:
1. Positive Attitude
Pros:
Builds resilience
Attracts opportunities
Improves relationships
Reduces stress
Cons:
Can become toxic positivity if feelings are suppressed
2. Negative Attitude
Pros:
Helps identify risks
Encourages caution when needed
Cons:
Drains energy
Damages relationships
Pulls life into scarcity
3. Growth Attitude
Pros:
Learns from mistakes
Adapts quickly
Creates success
Cons:
Can feel uncomfortable during transformation
4. Fixed Attitude
Pros:
Provides stability
Predictable behavior
Cons:
Blocks growth
Creates stagnation
Leads to repeated patterns
5. Confident Attitude
Pros:
Inspires trust
Strengthens decision-making
Creates leadership
Cons:
Can be misunderstood as ego
6. Defensive Attitude
Pros:
Protects emotional wounds
Maintains boundaries (for a while)
Cons:
Blocks connection
Makes communication difficult
7. People-Pleasing Attitude
Pros:
Creates temporary harmony
Makes others feel supported
Cons:
Self-betrayal
Resentment
Emotional burnout
8. Assertive Attitude
Pros:
Respects self and others
Creates healthy boundaries
Encourages clarity
Cons:
May intimidate people who are used to passivity
9. Victim Attitude
Pros:
Signals inner wounds needing healing
Attracts temporary sympathy
Cons:
Keeps person stuck
Blocks empowerment
Weakens self-worth
10. Gratitude-Based Attitude
Pros:
Opens heart
Strengthens abundance
Creates harmony
Cons:
None, unless gratitude is forced or used to avoid real issues
A Single, Powerful Conclusion
Attitude is your private power.
No one can give it to you and no one can take it away.
It is the inner signature of your soul — the one thing you always control.
Here are 3 powerful lines on attitude:
1. Attitude is the only wealth no one can steal and only you can grow.
2. Life bends differently for the one who chooses their attitude, not their circumstances.
3. Your attitude is your signature energy — it introduces you before you speak.
To your Positive Attitude and Awareness,
Roop Lakhani
www.rooplakhani.com
www.rooplakhani.co.in
